Kids come up with the craziest things, diffusing tense situations by the mere silliness of it. In January, I was trying to get all three of my kiddos out the door so I could take the twins to preschool. Some days this goes well and some days it does not. On this particular day, it did not. Getting the girls to focus and work with me to get all their winter gear on was not happening and I was frustrated. Finally, I said:
“You girls are not listening and it’s making me angry!”
Eve responded with, “Are you angry for food, Mommy?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Goodness knows ‘hanger’ is a real thing.
These are the moments that I want to etch on my heart and remember forever. They uniquely capture the rawest parts of life – like stress and conflict – with the most beautiful parts of life – like love and laughter. They also remind me that nothing is more important than the little people staring back at me all day long, and I need to soak it all in while it lasts. It’s precious and I don’t take it for granted.
This is what was on my mind when I asked Cassie to launch Bare Feet & Curls with me; it’s what I want it to be about. I want to capture the different aspects of life and reveal the common threads that bind them together. We all play specific roles to the people around us; wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, boss, employee, mentor, coach. You name it. But we are not actors portraying different characters of a play. We are many parts that make up one unique person. Our responsibilities change but who we are at the core stays the same. It is this core that is so special, it’s what grounds us.
I also believe that the core of your person is a reflection of your mind, your brain space, if you will. Your brain space is what guides your decision making process, it’s your motivation. It can be the “big why” behind everything you do. It’s what helps you keep choosing what you want most over what you want now.
I have the awesome task of raising three girls. I want many things for them and I know that when it comes to instilling the most important truths in their hearts, more is caught than taught. It’s “game on” for me all of the time because they’re constantly watching. So I try to live out my faith, show kindness to others, speak respectfully, and pour as much goodness into each day as I can.
I want to be healthy and feel great when I’m 75 so I try to eat nourishing food and maintain a strong body. I know that neglecting these things will cause my health to decline much faster than I want it to. When my long term health is important to me, certain choices become easier.
I want to enjoy several more decades with my husband and be able to do all kinds of things together. I pursue a simple life and view money as a tool because I don’t want our financial situation to hold us back. I want to spend time together, take adventures together, and invest in the things that will continue to matter after we die.
This is my brain space. It’s who I am. It’s why I cook from scratch, move my body, place more value in experiences than in things, acknowledge that I’m learning as I go, pursue meaningful relationships, and try to laugh at the little things. I may not always be at my best, but my desire to live a deep and abundant life keeps me on course.
In a recent sermon at my church, this is how discipline was defined. It is simply choosing what you want most over what you want now. It was a great mental exercise to consider the things I truly want in 10, 20, even 50 years from now. Are the choices I’m making now in support of those desires? Perhaps some but there is room for growth.
This got me wondering about all kinds of people. How many of us really choose what we want most over what we want now? Maybe it’s time to start.